A unique wedding

August 2010 was a special month.  After being quite used to seeing phirangi relatives landing in style to attend desi weddings, we did something different.  A desi wedding was being conducted in California US and we were planning to attend…yes it was of our dear niece Sandhya.  She got married to Zachary Brachio, a fine gentleman from New York.  We all were quite impressed and overwhelmed by the openness and warmth with which Zach and his family gelled with our family made us all wonder – cultural and racial differences are just incidental – when people respect and love each other, it is such a beautiful experience.  

The wedding itself was a nice confluence of ethnic indian and America-Indian mix with a dash of Anglo-American added to finish it off in style. Ramya and I were the official couriers for the bride’s family carrying a lot of stuff purchased from Chennai –  sarees, kurtas, gift articles, sweets etc.  We ourselves had a small luggage for ourselves !  The weather at California was just perfect in the mid 60s (Fahrenheit) and sunny and bright most of the time.

One aspect about weddings or for that matter any function there is that you do your own stuff.  You do not get the luxury of contractor taking care of everything, casual labour available to do a lot of errands etc. We hired a U-Haul and took a lot of items from San Rafael where we were staying to San Ramon where the wedding took place.  A lot of planning went into it with Radhika and Sitaraman doing most of the planning and guys like me helping out in execution.  Ramya was helping out with Rangoli, decorations, assistance to the bride etc.  There were some wonderful gentlemen I got to interact this time.  Sitaraman’s brother-in-law Narsi aka Babu and Ramya’s cousin Meena’s husband Narayanan.  These two were very quiet that you could mistake them for being reserved and withdrawn.  But it was a pleasant surprise to see them volunteering and helping out a lot – including lifting things, arranging the hall, transporting people between the venue and the hotel etc.

The warmth and affection from Zach and his family was infectious and that spurred us on to really make this function a grand success.  They were not just curious about the various ceremonies – the Pondugal, Mehndi, Kasi Yatrai, Oonjal, Vratham etc but were very particular that none of these were compromised because of their not being familiar with it.  It was a wonderful sight seeing Zach’s mother doing the paaligai  during Oonjal with great care and Zach’s lovely nieces – Abby and Lily feeling at home and comfortable in Silk Paavadais and Bindis and running about and enjoying themselves.  The typical south indian wedding with children enjoying themselves running around was not missed at all.  Zach’s father Brian called himself Anglo Indian! He was born in India and he is quite familiar with Kolkata, Rasagollas and Pani puris ! Even with a double doctorate in Physics and math and an engineering degree he was full of humility and appreciation for all things around him. 

I acted as the MC trying to explain the various ceremonies conducted during the wedding. The evening function was also quite unique.  It was a mix of bollywood music and American showtime with the bride, groom, the bride’s maids, best man and the parents making grand entries and making some lovely speeches and dancing to some nice music.  It marked the beginning of the coming together of two great families – each one keen to learn more about each other and their cultures with the basic foundation being love and affection.  It made me a bit philosophical.  I guess this marks a new beginning of Indian emigrated families and their next generation starting a very different life in the US.  It was surprising to see Sandhya – with most of her education in the US at MIT and San Diego university – keen on following some of the indian traditions for her wedding. It just reflected the refreshing attitude of the Millenials as we would call them. They like their new life but are also keen to have some part of their tradition…

Ramya and I had a nice break after the wedding with some relaxed time and sight seeing in and around San Francisco. It was a wonderful trip and we just loved America and California in particular.  Ramya – who is usually very practical in her approach started saying she longed to migrate to the US making me wonder if I should seriously start planning. I guess it is not just the place that gives you this feeling.  People getting together in a function having great fun enjoying each other’s company with only positives in their mind about each other and the beauty of the wedding itself…that is the uniqueness about weddings…and the indian ones especially…

Raavanan...I want my Mani Back !

I saw Ravanan....finally....After all the initial media hype and the subsequent brickbats that the movie faced from the same media I was quite curious. For once the media weren't exhaggerating. In fact even while I was & still am a Mani Rathnam fan, I think the media were quite benevolent !

Mani Rathnam is no doubt a very talented director of our times who has given some great films over the years. But he should realise that the script is not one of the things. It is everything ! It was quite funny to hear the actors talk about his large canvas, extravagance, technical brilliance etc. Not many talked about the quality of the script. Or may be I missed. That is because there wasn't any ! The public generally view films as a medium to hear a story handled visually well. If there is no story - or nothing worth the money - any amount of "handling brilliantly" is just a gimmick. We hear comments about exotic locales, brilliant camera, a powerful star cast etc. All those are wasted if enough attention is not paid to the script.

In the name of being different, why portray Rama as a villain? While Ravanan grunts, laughs, stares, makes funny sounds and applies all kinds of things on his body, what does he do to add credibility to his character? We only hear from the villagers that he is great, he is talented, he does this, that etc. There was not a single scene to show his skills. The Ravanan from Ramayanan was known to be an excellent administrator, an artist, well versed in music, an ardent devotee of shiva and a character admired and respected by his subjects. What did this character in the movie do to win over his people? You can't just put in a group of tribal men around and just say they will give their lives for him. It was funny. If there were any parallels attempted, then the climax was a joke. Why send Ash back and that too alone to ask some questions? and Ravanan does n't even bother to suspect before wasting his time on some meaningless dialogues?

Coming to dialogues, what language was it? The tamil film industry seems obsessed with the Tirunelveli dialect. But no one has handled it as well as K Balachander. Why choose dialects which the majority may not follow? Just as a friend mentioned, why not just have some simple tamil spoken slowly so that people can understand? Would speaking fast in short phrases be reality? would like to know how many of us do that every day.

Finally the technicians and other members of the cast. Karthik as forest officer need not have jumped around to painfully portray the parallel between him and hanuman. Cameramen were great but it seems like they were all the time hunting for misty cliffs and beautiful waterfalls. We all know that A R Rahman is a brilliant musician. But he needs some serious apprenticeship under some of the former masters for background scores. It was irritating to hear western violins with a female voice shreaking when the scene was in a mountain in a tribal village ! He also needs to realise that when there is no dialogue some times it is just ok to just have the sounds carry the scene. You do not have to plug in some unnecessary sounds and strings.

Finally the director. I wonder where he was during the entire shoot. He is just not capable of taking such a movie. We hear media reports that this was his most difficult movie.....to make it this bad ?!! Multiple releases, big budget, mega stars, pre-release hype etc will get his money back....but we need our "Mouna Ragam Mani" back!

Feb 2010

The month of February began with a lot of travel.  I was travelling to Mumbai, to Bangalore, to Pune and then to New Jersey.  All these within a span of 15 days and that really took a toll on my health.  Was down for more than a week with flu and bronchitis. 

February was also a sad month with the passing away of a very dear member of our family – my chittappa – P S Sundararaman. It was a sad end for some one who epitomised the spirit of cheer and positivity throughout his life.  The very presence of PSS in a family gathering brought in smiles and laughter.  He was a very wise man, well informed and an earthy logic and intelligence in dealing with worldly issues.  He was an ideal mentor for youngsters.  His obsession with cleanliness, order and a clear thinking certainly influenced all of us during our childhood.  It was very sad to see him suffer due to multiple complications and my dear cousin Suresh had to go through some tough times before seeing his father’s end.  We all pray for Chittappa’s soul to rest in peace.

Professionally it was a very interesting month.  I had to lead the business proposal presentation to a one of the largest banks in India for an integrated payment hub.  It was good fun interacting with some of the experienced bankers and I should say it went off much better than we expected.  I also flew to New Jersey to our headquarters for a business meeting with a client.  It gave me the chance to interact with some of the senior folks in the company.  Quite strangely for all the aura and hype surrounding the names, each one of these leaders came across as a normal, simple & smart individuals.  It did a lot to add to my own confidence levels.

I also had an interesting appraisal discussion with my boss and it lead to my introspecting and thinking of a change of role within the company to meet my own career aspirations.  As I have always done in my life, in times of uncertainty, I go with the decision first and then adapt.  That is much better than pondering over a lot of factors – most of them unknown, coming to a judgment based on incomplete information and wishful thinking.  It has taken me so far and has not been too bad and I hope that will continue.

Jan 2010

It has been an interesting month.  If it is any indication of the year ahead then it must be a very interesting year ahead.  The weather at Chennai has been cool and pleasant.  Ramya and I have been taking that extra effort to avoid noise as much as possible – either by keeping out windows closed or just by avoiding any activity that has noise – including switching on the idiot box.  That has really helped us have a relaxed mind.  I also travelled a lot – first to Delhi, then to Tiruchi and then to Bangalore for Campus interviews and to Hyderabad and Mumbai.  My experience has so far been very disappointing.  Guys in premier B schools are well short of our expectations  - which are very minimal and I get a feeling the schools are not doing much to shape these guys up.  May be we were like this long back when we came out of college !

The company is doing well and there are indications that I may be seeing some change in my role / assignment which could possibly result in my relocating elsewhere. 

On the home front, appa and amma would be celebrating their 50th wedding anniversary and Ramya and I our 15th.  It is a landmark year – more so with Shruthi going into her 10th grade.  Sandhya is getting married in Aug 2010 and Bharat finishing his under graduation at Stanford.  So a lot of action expected over the next few months. 

Jan 4, 2010

Another New Year and another period of hope, wish and dreams as we enter into the next decade of the 21^st Century.  I had taken about 10 days off in December just to be with the family and I enjoyed every moment of it.  Today was mostly preoccupied with discussing the appraisal ratings of some of my team members.  The HR dept of the company gave us a dictat that in order to follow a bell curve certain number of people have to be identified as being the bottom 5% of the group.  That is a tough decision for us to make.  Theoretically it may be ok to argue that we need to identify the folks by their classes, enforcing that practically is a big challenge.  The guys have been in projects for most part of the year and have tried to do to the best of their abilities.  Well….that is life.

 

We had a surprisingly relaxed evening.  Ramya and I had a lot to discuss.  Something strange.  We did not even switch on the TV for quite some time.  We just realized that the TV was taking most of our time.  Ramya tried some different hair styles on Shruthi – who as usual was not satisfied with none of them.  Ramya’s leg is still in the process of getting healed.  I was appalled to see the long scar on her leg caused by the doctor (Orthopedist) while trying to remove the cast !

 

We were still recalling those splendid scenes from 3 idiots and Paa – 2 movies that we watched during the holidays and thoroughly enjoyed.  That made us plan well in advance for our next holiday break in May.  We immediately booked it in Mahindra Holidays at Coorg.  Let us hope we earn our holidays well enough to enjoy it thoroughly..

 

K Kamesh