A unique wedding

August 2010 was a special month.  After being quite used to seeing phirangi relatives landing in style to attend desi weddings, we did something different.  A desi wedding was being conducted in California US and we were planning to attend…yes it was of our dear niece Sandhya.  She got married to Zachary Brachio, a fine gentleman from New York.  We all were quite impressed and overwhelmed by the openness and warmth with which Zach and his family gelled with our family made us all wonder – cultural and racial differences are just incidental – when people respect and love each other, it is such a beautiful experience.  

The wedding itself was a nice confluence of ethnic indian and America-Indian mix with a dash of Anglo-American added to finish it off in style. Ramya and I were the official couriers for the bride’s family carrying a lot of stuff purchased from Chennai –  sarees, kurtas, gift articles, sweets etc.  We ourselves had a small luggage for ourselves !  The weather at California was just perfect in the mid 60s (Fahrenheit) and sunny and bright most of the time.

One aspect about weddings or for that matter any function there is that you do your own stuff.  You do not get the luxury of contractor taking care of everything, casual labour available to do a lot of errands etc. We hired a U-Haul and took a lot of items from San Rafael where we were staying to San Ramon where the wedding took place.  A lot of planning went into it with Radhika and Sitaraman doing most of the planning and guys like me helping out in execution.  Ramya was helping out with Rangoli, decorations, assistance to the bride etc.  There were some wonderful gentlemen I got to interact this time.  Sitaraman’s brother-in-law Narsi aka Babu and Ramya’s cousin Meena’s husband Narayanan.  These two were very quiet that you could mistake them for being reserved and withdrawn.  But it was a pleasant surprise to see them volunteering and helping out a lot – including lifting things, arranging the hall, transporting people between the venue and the hotel etc.

The warmth and affection from Zach and his family was infectious and that spurred us on to really make this function a grand success.  They were not just curious about the various ceremonies – the Pondugal, Mehndi, Kasi Yatrai, Oonjal, Vratham etc but were very particular that none of these were compromised because of their not being familiar with it.  It was a wonderful sight seeing Zach’s mother doing the paaligai  during Oonjal with great care and Zach’s lovely nieces – Abby and Lily feeling at home and comfortable in Silk Paavadais and Bindis and running about and enjoying themselves.  The typical south indian wedding with children enjoying themselves running around was not missed at all.  Zach’s father Brian called himself Anglo Indian! He was born in India and he is quite familiar with Kolkata, Rasagollas and Pani puris ! Even with a double doctorate in Physics and math and an engineering degree he was full of humility and appreciation for all things around him. 

I acted as the MC trying to explain the various ceremonies conducted during the wedding. The evening function was also quite unique.  It was a mix of bollywood music and American showtime with the bride, groom, the bride’s maids, best man and the parents making grand entries and making some lovely speeches and dancing to some nice music.  It marked the beginning of the coming together of two great families – each one keen to learn more about each other and their cultures with the basic foundation being love and affection.  It made me a bit philosophical.  I guess this marks a new beginning of Indian emigrated families and their next generation starting a very different life in the US.  It was surprising to see Sandhya – with most of her education in the US at MIT and San Diego university – keen on following some of the indian traditions for her wedding. It just reflected the refreshing attitude of the Millenials as we would call them. They like their new life but are also keen to have some part of their tradition…

Ramya and I had a nice break after the wedding with some relaxed time and sight seeing in and around San Francisco. It was a wonderful trip and we just loved America and California in particular.  Ramya – who is usually very practical in her approach started saying she longed to migrate to the US making me wonder if I should seriously start planning. I guess it is not just the place that gives you this feeling.  People getting together in a function having great fun enjoying each other’s company with only positives in their mind about each other and the beauty of the wedding itself…that is the uniqueness about weddings…and the indian ones especially…